Don't Land Or I'll Shoot

"Alas, poor Yorick Astro! I knew him [not], Horatio Dear Reader, [yet he was] a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me fleas on his back a thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it."

Worthy of Shakespeare it is, even bastardized.

You may or may not know that the Dutch currently have an astronaut on the International Space Station, orbiting some 350km above the planet's surface. Apparently this event has proven inspirational to more than the budding scientists in the country.

At the old-new year change festivities, which in Netherlands include the explosion of massive amounts of fireworks, two 20-year-old youngsters tied a mouse to a firework--to send him to space? The youngsters are not forthcoming on their reasons. They were discovered before the unfortunate rodent was sent into the ether, but the mouse died a few days after the incident. No worries, the Dutch take animal cruelty seriously and the hooligans will get their punishment.

At any rate, the mouse, nicknamed Astro, has now been stuffed and is being put on display at the Fries Natuurmuseum in Leeuwarden. Eww. (My gorge rises at it.)

But what actually made this a Daily Wot topic was the casual mention of the company Astro is now keeping at the Fries Natuurmuseum. Among other exhibits, he's joining the Domino Sparrow. Now this is the event you really need to try to get a clear picture of in your head.

Domino Day was an annual event in Holland from 1998 to 2009. Each event combined the efforts of domino-chain experts to try to break the standing record for the number of dominoes falling in a single chain-reaction event. In 2005, this event was set up in Leeuwarden. Yes, the same town as the Natuurmuseum. Four million dominoes stood waiting for their big day, just four days away, as the experts continued working on the setup. Each attempt at the record involved around 4.5 million dominoes (4.8 million in 2009) precisely placed to hopefully be triggered in one huge domino fall.

The Domino Sparrow was curious. Finding a way into the building (birds do that from time to time), the Domino Sparrow appears to have appreciated the pattern on the floor made by all the standing dominoes. So much so that he decided to land on some of the dominoes, triggering a fall that eventually took down 23,000 dominoes. No further damage was done because the dominoes are arranged in sections with gaps that are kept in place until immediately before the event begins, and the shouting and efforts to catch the bird kept him from landing again.

The Frisan Expo Center called in animal experts, who called in a hunter, who spent several hours attempting to catch the sparrow with nets and sticks. Eight hours after the sparrow entered the building, he was shot.

It's probably my own dysfuntion, but the only thing I could think of was, "Damn that guy must have been a really good shot."

As the sparrow in question was a member of an endangered species, the shooter was fined. Animal rights' groups were outraged and a bounty was placed on the dominoes. The domino event went on as planned, the bounty stood uncollected (thanks to heightened security by the Expo Center) and the Domino Sparrow's stuffed body was put on display in the Natuurmuseum in Rotterdam until 2007. It's now housed in the Natuurmuseum in Leeuwarden.

Animal rights debates aside, I really had a time trying to wrap my head around the tension in the room when the people setting up these dominoes have invested thousands of man-hours and they realized there's a bird in the room and then the bird actually lands on the dominoes and they begin to fall. I freak out if dinner doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I'd have lost my entire mind.

Today's lessons: Mice cannot get to space on fireworks. And don't touch the Dutch dominoes; they'll shoot you.

Lexington Commons Cleared of Hoodlums

Posted by: ThomasHutchinson

The radical Pat Henry complains today of the treatment of the scum assembled yesterday on the public square in Lexington. In case you've not heard the real story yet, a group of miscreants were stockpiling weapons for a planned terrorist attack on our loyal sons doing their duty in the Colonies. A number of these thugs camped out near the stockpile. When the peacekeeping troops learned of the illegal arms and discovered the unlicensed assembly, they declared this an unlawful assembly and ordered the group to disperse. They were met with violence and were forced to restore order. Some infiltrators posing as the local press were likewise cleared out of the way. Henry claims that the authorities attacked the assembled scoundrels without provocation, but reports from our boys on the line assert clearly that it was the illegally assembled criminals who fired the first shot.

Henry would have you believe that these radicals are our own citizens, protesting the "tyranny" of the austerity measures that must be implemented in order to pay the costs of defending the Colonies from the French and the savages. The fact of the matter is that a small group of the defeated French in the northern Colonies have fled south and are inciting violence among the loyal, hardworking populace. It was plain and simply a disgraceful disregard of law and order that has been put right.

The young soldier injured in yesterday's police action is being transported to New York for treatment and rehabilitation, and I would like to personally assure the loyal, peace-loving colonists whom I have the pleasure to govern that Brittania will not turn her back on you. You are safe from those who would occupy the Colonies in your place.

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[-] GeorgeIII

First! And before anyone else lays claim to them: I see what you did there; Rule 34; and, Keeping Order: You're Doing it Wrong.

[-] LordFrederickNorth

The problem, Mr. Hutchinson, Sir, is that you yourself made the choice to allow these scumbags the freedom to protest in the first place. It is on your shoulders, therefore, when they destroy public and private property. It is you who have condoned their attacks on public workers who are charged with defending citizens and crown property paid for by taxpayers.

This is what Progressive leadership looks like. Social dignity is dead and any sense of decency the Colonies once had has been buried with it.

Progressives want to destroy our country and turn us into a savage hellhole.

You, Sir, should be tried as a traitor who works against the King and seeks to undermine his power.

(Perhaps we can find a nice room in the Tower for you to serve your sentence there, because you need to be segregated from young, impressionable minds.)

[-] ToryForever

Can't spell Populist without "P-U-S" or Colonial without "C-O-N"!

These Liberal Leftie Community Organizers (including the forenamed Patrick Henry) are a disaster in the making... no sane company will invest in ships and cargo they risk losing to the insane Colonials... Bye Bye trade with the civilized world... hello misery!

They allow anarchy and trouble makers more freedom to trash the rights of law-abiding citizens... This is NOT what our Country nor our Magna Carta allows...

WE NEED THE AUTHORITIES TO UPHOLD THE LAW!

[-] LordGeorgeGermain

First, we should all start RIGHT NOW, continually repeating the mantra that when the Colonies are next attacked - NO TROOP SUPPORT FROM US! We must put them on notice right now that we will never be open to the argument that if the Colonies fall to enemy hands it will hurt the entire nation. We cannot possibly allow them to hold the entire nation hostage to their passive aggressive populist failed social and economic policies. When the Colonies go down - let them fall. We can take them back from their conquerors and then make THEM all pay for it.

Second, we have allowed covertly populist people like the OP to permeate our nation gradually for the last decades. They have infested our government, our schools and universities, and our court system. They breed with savages and call the offspring citizens. We need to take back our nation and make sure that it continues to be run as the King and God intend. That's why the sun shall never set on the Empire.

In order to take our nation back from these liberal vermin we will have to take strong measures like, not hiring them, not purchasing their raw materials, and not allowing them into our civic and social associations and institutions. Unless we strike back at them with strong economic and social measures and root them out of our entire society, they will continue to work towards the disintegration of our nation. It's a simple choice - we either root them out or we go down. It would be nice if we could simply pacify them, however, that will never work. We need to shun them at every turn in the road and discriminate against them at every opportunity we possibly can.

 [-] EarlOfSandwich

This is why the Colonies will eventually be lost. It's absolutely impossible for decent people to live in a nation with this many populists. Impossible.

[-] ColonelThomasFletchall

I live in the Colonies and you should really be monitoring the imprints out here - because they have nothing but propaganda in praise of the troublemakers and the terrorists - nothing but praise. They have people purposely picked out to interview to say they are so happy that riots have started to happen and they are so happy people are all waking up to the evil Monarchy, of which there is barely a sign to be seen these Colonials have been left so much to their own devices - yet they are still blaming the King and anyone not an anti-Monarchist - saying in local speeches and imprints that it's just wonderful that the Lexington terrorism is happening and thank goodness everyone is waking up and will start rioting more and more - until they finally get the fully populist government control over everything and anything, which to them is success. Just as example of how far they control things, go to the Virginia Colonial Government's own reports and look up some of the laws they have on the books. Go to Lexington and try not to see savages dealt with as citizens, try to avoid some rabble-rouser speechifying for the popular vote, try not to see the King's own likeness allowed to weather like a common tavern sign. And the local imprints here, well they're saying just the opposite of this nationally visited blog. They have eveyrday common folk, all brainwashed by decades of progressive propaganda, believing that the Lexington riot was the best thing ever, since baked bread. Trust me. In this area of the Colonies, it's going to get worse. It's an establishment of populism here on British soil, a complete take-over that is fully in control and at all levels - city, county and colony. They own and control it all.

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A note from me, the blogger: Sadly, I didn't make these rants up. I only translated them through context from 2011 (it's 2012 now but these comments were posted to a blog in late 2011) to the morning of April 20, 1775, after the Minute Men in Lexington had been thoroughly trounced by the British forces in the opening battle of the American War for Independence. Of course, in my version of 1775, there are clearly such things as electronic blogs. But not TV. Pfffft. It worked in my head, get over it. Interesting note: How many of you were given the impression in school that the War for Independence followed the Declaration of Independence? The war began nearly a year before the Declaration. Things that make me say, "Hmmmm." 


As an aside, I did, in the course of my research, discover a fascinating note in an entry of the Wiki: Eight psychological characteristics of the American Colonialists who supported King George III over Independence:

• Psychologically they were older, better established, and resisted innovation.

• They felt that resistance to the Crown—the legitimate government—was morally wrong.

• They were alienated when the Patriots resorted to violence, such as burning houses and tarring and feathering.

• They wanted to take a middle-of-the road position and were angry when forced by the Patriots to declare their opposition.

• They had a long-standing sentimental attachment to Britain (often with business and family links).

• They were procrastinators who realized that independence was bound to come some day, but wanted to postpone the moment.

• They were rightly cautious and afraid of the anarchy stemming from mob rule, which did cost many their property and security after the revolution.

• Some say they were pessimists who lacked the confidence in the future displayed by the Patriots, while others point to the memory and dreadful experience of many Scottish immigrants who had already seen or paid the price of rebellion in dispossession and clearance from their prior homeland.